Archive for May, 2009

How old are you?

May 31, 2009

This is a test!

Let me first tell you why I do it. David Niven [you remember him?] wrote a few books: The Moon is a Balloon, Bring on the Empty Horses, and I think some others]. The expression “Bring on the Empty Horses” occurred during the filming of a movie directed by [I think] Otto Preminger. Otto was still somewhat of a “furriner” for a long time after he had become a successful movie producer and battled with English when he was excited.

Niven tells about the day when they had to film a stampede [way back before trick photography and stuntmen]. Synchronization was still in its infancy and timing was of utmost importance, so the horses that were held in the enclosure had to be released [and coaxed/frightened] to run past the cameras at the right moment. Then things went wrong and Murphy’s Law set in. The cameras were running, but no horses came [there was chaos in the enclosure] and Otto started shouting “where is the …. [rider less ….] [He now forgot all his English] …. “Damn, bring on the Empty Horses” …. He was tearing his hair out about yards of “empty film” streaming from the cameras.

Talking movies followed, then color movies, and later Television.

So:

When did the first jet engine plane fly?

When did color TV come out?

When did the first fax come off “on the other side” of the “empty phone” call?

When did you personally use the first Fax?

When did Internet appear?

When did you personally send your first email?

And, uhmm, yes I think I will chuck this in too [seeing politicians are holy cows to some people]:

Who was the first person that said [in fact the only one I know of who ever did – all the incompetents normally queue up whether we, the people, want them or not], when prodded to run for high Office? And when did he/she say it?

“No, it is recorded he/she replied, “and if nominated, I shall not run. If elected, I shall not serve!”

That took guts. See whether you can locate that name.

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Aunt Becky’s cough Remedy

May 31, 2009

Grandma lives with a cousin who has email service. Aunt Becky lives with another cousin who also has email but in another town far away. Everyone remains in touch through the email cousins.

Email from Grandma’s side:

Hallo Aunt Becky, Grandma says to send her regards but she isn’t feeling very well. She has a bad cough. And it’s cold. It rains every day.

Email from the cousin at Aunt Becky’s side:

Hallo Cousin, I am sorry to hear about Grandma’s cough but I have a good remedy that always works. …. [She adds the details: some honey, with cinnamon and hot water etc. Aunt Becky has a cure for everything].

Reply email to Aunt Becky:

Hallo Aunt Becky. We received the email and Grandma says to tell you she must try anything because the cough is real bad. We have the honey but we are out of cinnamon. Can you email us some so we can get it into Grandma right away? It has been raining here for a week and the roads are all too wet to travel.

A Moral Crusade or more of the same Obamalogic

May 30, 2009

Or is it a jump-start for the kick-off to Campaign 2012?

Whatever it is, it defies reality! So please folks, read this as farce, satire, parody or whatever you wish as long as you don’t loose any sleep over it.

The President of Obamerica is on a Moral Crusade to “reclaim American Values” as [wait for it] “inculcated in me by my Mother.” Wow!

Please note that I refer to the President of Obamerica [also known as Barack’s America – so designated by Veep Joe of the tender loins] of the 58 States and do not confuse that with America of the fifty States. That is a different land, and a stable land. They are having a temporary problem to cope with the fallout from atmospheric pollution following the outbreak of Obamacitis 2008 but they are still sound and will prevail again. You bet 46% of the vote is nothing to snicker at.

I call on all Citizens of the New World Order to join me on a journey to look at the foundation of these inculcated moral values. Remember that no other Nation can escape this matter. No previous President of America of the 50 States ever claimed or indicated that they wanted to be anything more than just being President of the USA [they mostly stayed at home too and attended to their internal affairs] but the Globetrotting fellow leading the charge now is about to take your country over too, no matter where you live. So please, it is not only a matter of concern to Americans. He is your New World Order President wherever you are.

The moral values [and ethics] he refers to is mostly set out in his book Dreams from my Father that he published somewhere around 1997 and in which he deals mainly with the mechanisms employed by shady characters in the Liberanarchist Chicago underground to make a President, but he does refer to his mother a few times although it’s all very sketchy. You really have to read between the lines to find any meat for the story on the current development of moral values. Don’t worry much about this because everything about the man, and his mother and his father, are very sketchy.

As you read on you will have to make some notes of dates [record them as you battle along] to determine the time when he was educated on these moral values but I work it out [from his book] that the great lessons must have been given to him when he was a young boy of about six, or seven at the most, and by which time his mother and he went under the name of Sutoro, living in Indonesia. By then Father Obama had long gone and young Barry [as he was later called] never saw the father again except for a few brief moments much later.

The mother then packed young Barry off to Hawaii when he was about seven and he didn’t see much of her either after that. There was not much news of Barry either but he became a dope user and vagabond until he surfaced as a shady lawyer for the “underprivileged” in the dark alleys of Chicago.

So all we have to go on is what is known of the mother who inculcated him so faithfully into American Values way back when he was, say, six years old and living with Daddy Sutoro in Indonesia.

Let me just briefly mention my views on parents and children because what follows after this will need clarification on a very important point regarding the relationship between parents and children. Here goes. I do not believe that it is fair to “visit the sins of the fathers on the children” and I believe that it is, in fact, unfair to do that, but unfortunately a child does sometimes suffer for the consequences of the sins of the father. All such a child can do is to work harder in order to be a better person than the sinning father. That he must do because if he does not he becomes like the father but the responsibility to change his fate rests on the choices of the child in his own life as he grows. Perhaps it is a heavy burden, but it is life.

The Father in this case had long since gone back to Native Kenya where he was some minor official in every new change in the Ruling Tribal mess that has been part of Africa since about the time when Freedom hit Africa like a tidal wave. Interesting information from that era fifty years ago can be obtained from two sources that I shall mention.

First read the beautiful trilogy [Advise and Consent written in 1959 and later filmed, followed by Capable of Honor and concluded by Preserve and Protect] by American Author Alan Drury. You won’t find any better description or a more graphic illustration of Freedom in Africa anywhere for the simple reason that nobody produced much literature from Africa in those troubled times [it was all long before Robert Mugabe stepped in and you know what has happened in his land], but Drury was excellent in his depiction of a newly formed Free Country that he called Gorotoland. I think it should be compulsory reading for any State Secretary and State Department employee in America, and for all and everybody involved in the 1001 International Human Aid organizations that are flourishing around the Globe at present.

The other source is a book with the title ‘Britannia waives the Rules’ written by one AT Culwick and first published in 1963. It deals specifically with Kenya in the period from just before President JFK won the Presidency and his first year in Office and you will remember it was during the reign of Prime Minister Harold Macmillan of the UK 1957 TO 1963. The book was made off “as of minor interest” by the large media at the time because it was not quite politically correct but I assure you it is a fine read including lots of humor and some real home-truths from the author who had spent his life in Kenya for the British Colonial Service. You will still find it at specialty bookstores in the UK. I read the first edition at the time and then lost the book as it always happens when you are stupid enough to “lend a book to your friend” but I have found a used one in very good condition from one of these stores for about five UK pounds just in the past week. It is right here next to my elbow at the keyboard.

Anyway, to complete the narrative on the father who had returned to his native Kenya; he continued having more children with a bunch of wives and concubines, suffered and rose through various new Tribal Rulers while he became more despondent and eventually gave himself over to liquor. He died in a car crash when he was drunk. That is also a long time ago.

Thus we must now go on to what we know of the mother.

And what we find from the sketchy details is a young woman who had abandoned all authority by the time she was seventeen. She had indeed rejected all prevailing customs, and the rules that customs and traditions prescribed at the time. Talk about prevailing values? She had abandoned them all and later rejected her own Country and came to a mysterious end somewhere. The young man in question did not know where she died, how she died and did not even attend the funeral. Long after her death mention is made of a doctorate degree that the tragic figure had obtained but no records or papers seem to be available.

There you have it. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THESE THINGS. But I am a little skeptical about a Moral Crusade by someone with his eye on the World Presidency using moral issues for an early jump-start when the next race for the US White House is only scheduled to start in about a year or, maybe, eighteen months from now. The British and many others are known for quick and short Electioneering. America on the other hand has always dragged it out over two years and it seems like Obamerica will make it an ongoing process.

What [whose] moral values are we talking about? It should concern every Citizen of the New World Order. You be the judge.

Rules to live by

May 28, 2009

Courtesy of an old email friend [verbatim, no editing]

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
Jennifer Unlimited

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice – Gloria Steinem

I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night – Marie Corelli

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house -Zsa Zsa Gabor

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission – Eleanor Roosevelt

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes
out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

There are two kinds of pedestrians – the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull terrier.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error…

A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.

For people who like peace and quiet; a ‘phoneless cord.

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone…

I used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.

Mental floss prevents moral decay.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

If things get any worse, I’ll have to ask you to stop helping me.

If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

Don’t look back; they might be gaining on you.

It’s not hard to meet expenses; they’re everywhere.

Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

Look out for #1. Don’t step in #2 either.

Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

More of the same from Joe the Prattler

May 27, 2009

Joe the Prattler must be looking for personal glory or his own jihad because he takes on an old hand:

“Benjamin Netanyahu’s government is playing with fire on two fronts,” he prattles in:

Israel’s Diversions

http://swampland.blogs.time.com/2009/05/24/israels-diversions/

And then his Obamamind runs away with his emotions; all logic goes out of the window:

“The President has a big speech to the Muslim world coming in less than 2 weeks, to be delivered in Cairo. It will be interesting to see what, if anything, he has to say about Israel’s illegal settlement-building. And it will be interesting to see how the Obama Administration approaches Iran in the weeks that follow its June elections.”

Those teleprompter guys and the speechwriters will be up way past midnight when Michelle and the little ones have all gone to bed, but at least Joe is giving it a good shot.  Whether Iran will be impressed by a speech is, of course, another matter altogether.  With the World President having alienated Canada and the British Banks in the last two weeks I should think he does need some friends by now.  If he can woo Iran with a speech it may be worth a try after all.

I often wonder who is trying to be World President.  Is it Obama or is it Joe the Prattler?

The Top Prestigious Award in Journalism

May 27, 2009

Time Warner CNN Swampland always announce the winners in their competitions with an exclamation:

“Now, ladies and gentlemen, we have come to the most prestigious event for this evening, to announce the winner in …. Blah, blah, blah and so forth.”

This year will mark the end of the first decade of the current millennium and we expect a winner in a new competition for the Person of the Decade.  At present Joe Klein leads by more than the proverbial mile.

He is a remarkable writer.  When others battle with research, facts, sources and resources, Joe smirks at everyone and prattles something that only Joe understands.  Joe is a gifted prattler.

See:

Obama’s National Security Strength

http://swampland.blogs.time.com/2009/05/19/obamas-national-security-strength/

“Well, yeah. But we should not underestimate the significance here: Obama is trying to do something far more complicated and sophisticated than Bush–comprehensive diplomacy takes time and great skill,” says Joe the Prattler.

Someone counters with a detailed analysis, quoting resources and facts [they quote North Korea and World reactions, and since, of course, the vagrant NK has sent a few more funny things going BOOM BOOM around the World].  See:

http://hotair.com/greenroom/archives/2009/05/20/democrats-close-national-security-gap-follow-evil-bush-policies/

Joe does not reply because he doesn’t have to.  He just steams ahead with:

A Middle Ground on Enemy Combatants by Joe Klein

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1900052,00.html?xid=newsletter-daily

 And [what a beauty on the Gitmo terrorists?]:

 We’re Not Sending Them to Boss Hogg’s Lock-Up

http://swampland.blogs.time.com/2009/05/21/were-not-sending-them-to-boss-hoggs-lock-up/

Time’s regular believers scream at the last one but Joe remains oblivious to their concerns.

Instead he keeps prattling about Obama’s triumphant European tour [for which he has since been named Joe the God Maker because everyone named Joe is being renamed in Obamerica the land of the 58 States] at a time when:

 The Telegraph UK/ VIA Drudge… 30-Love Advantage Obama…He-He-He…British banks revolt against Obama tax plan…British banks and stockbrokers may refuse to take on American clients if new international tax proposals outlined by President Obama are passed.

Recognition for the above reference to my friend and a great Blogger El Campeador at:

http://elcampeador.com/2009/05/24/hey-mr-president-what-did-canada-ever-do-to-you/

On to January of 2010, the Chairman of the Conglomerate having the word:

 “So, Ladies and Gentlemen, on behalf of our great conglomerate where we don’t report the news, no, where we make the News, at Time Warner CNN Swampland, we give you the winner of the New Top Award, for The Person who achieved excellence in Trash Journalism, a Person who has no peer, a Person who lead from start to finish in this competition for the first ten year Award ever in the history of our conglomerate, the Award of the Decade … and the winner is, …. Joe [the God Maker] Klein.  Come forward Joe, give us the best smirk you have and accept our applause.”

Trivial Things We Probably didn’t realize?

May 26, 2009

These are facts that we have probably never thought of or realized.

The word “racecar”, “kayak”, and “radar” are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left. We call them Palindromes.

“a man a plan a canal panama” spelled backwards is still “a man a plan a canal panama”

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.

“Go.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language?

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you will have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, but dogs only have about ten.

No word in the English language rhymes with “month”.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears
never stop growing.

“Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each
gallon of diesel that it burns.

A dentist invented the electric chair.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

All polar bears are left-handed.

The name Wendy was made up for the book ‘Peter Pan’.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

I hope everyone is sober!

May 20, 2009

Unsolicited email [verbatim, no editing] but I enjoyed it.

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

  1. Innovative
  2. 2. Preliminary
  3. 3. Proliferation
  4. 4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

  1. Specificity
  2. 2. Anti-constitutionalistically
  3. 3. Passive-aggressive disorder
  4. 4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

  1. No thanks, I’m married.
  2. 2. Nope, no more booze for me!
  3. 3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
  4. 4. Taco Bell?  No thanks, I’m not hungry.
  5. 5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
  6. 6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
  7. 7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
  8. 8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
  9. 9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.

And  ……………………………  I am not kissing other women

Round 3: UK Telegraph against Obama – the towel goes in

May 20, 2009

Well, it was bound to happen.  He didn’t come out; there will be the usual melodramatics of the looser; well, maybe a bit more this time because he was known as the God Champ; it’s always like that, so it won’t be really different.

Round 1: A solid punch from the UK Telegraph, Obama wobbles

Round 2: UK Telegraph against Obama, his corner fumbles it

Round Three?

There won’t be a round three.  They have thrown in the towel.  See the UK Telegraph Report in:

US steps back from trade war with China

 The fight is over.  Watch China rise to the number One spot.  And make no mistake; the handlers in that corner know their stuff.  The Former Aspirant New World Order President will be buried in Afghanistan.  His “time is about to come” and the Taliban will lead him through the last few steps.

Round 2: UK Telegraph against Obama, his corner fumbles it

May 20, 2009

Obama never saw the second punch because his corner fumbled [read the left hand didn’t know what the right hand was doing], and this is also a lesson that “if you have a weak jaw, the handlers in your corner have to know what they are doing, or you are going down.”  They simply did not know.

In 2007 in “God as Their Running Mate” Michael Kinsley [Time Sage # two after Joe Klein] wrote: “Mitt Romney wants the J.F.K. deal with voters: If you don’t hold my religion against me, I won’t impose my religion on you. But that deal made little sense in 1960 and makes no sense today” and went on to saying Romney was simply not fit for public office because he is a Mormon.  See all the dirt and the filth you can think of in Politics Obamerica in “God as their running mate” in:

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1659734,00.html

Less than two years later, poor Joe Klein, his man is in trouble and Finance Secretary tries to play State Secretary as well [when he is not qualified for either or neither] [part of the problem – ex Wall Street guy with a closet full of skeletons] goes shooting his mouth off about China at the precise moment that General Motors Detroit are groveling at the feet China GM for a bailout in:

America threatens trade war with China

Obama’s only solution [he has no other choice whatsoever] is to get a man fluent in Mandarin to kowtow for him, BUT this man is a Mormon too, from a family of Mormons.

 You must please understand my view on Religion.  Another man’s religion is none of my business; all I ask of my neighbor is his good manners and adherence to the laws and the established customs of the community we live in.  Otherwise and in other respects of life I think it is best if we leave each man to his choice of religion AND respect his feelings, but this time “The Time” result is amusing to say the least.

 All they can do to divert any discussion on the new Ambassador and his Mormon credentials is to blame Former President Bush and the Republicans for continuing “to be relentlessly obstructionist” in:

 Huntsman to China

http://swampland.blogs.time.com/2009/05/16/huntsman-to-china/

 The UK Telegraph, counters with a neat delivery by publishing a full expose on the qualities of the new Ambassador to China, including his service to his Faith, the same Faith for which Time had disqualified Romney as unsuitable for public Office. See:

 Barack Obama sends 2012 election rival to China

 Brilliant Journalism, absolutely exquisite work!  The Time Rag is dead quiet for once; they dare not mention Romney or even whisper Mormon, or any other religion for that matter, because the Catholics have since hammered him on abortion.  Abortion plays a big role in American Politics and even at this late stage nobody knows what religion Obama practices, or if he even has a religion.

 Yesterday’s New World Order President is barely [desperately] hanging on to the ropes at the end of Round Two.