I hope everyone is sober!

Unsolicited email [verbatim, no editing] but I enjoyed it.

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. 2. Preliminary
3. 3. Proliferation
4. 4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. 2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. 3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. 4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. No thanks, I’m married.
2. 2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. 3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. 4. Taco Bell?  No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. 5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. 6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. 7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. 8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. 9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.

And  ……………………………  I am not kissing other women

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