Economic Models Explained with cows

This is not my own work. I found it somewhere but cannot remember where. If the original author claims credit for it I shall yield to his request. But I thank him in the meantime for a brilliant summation of Modern Economic Principles.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You has 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You has 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and
Then throws the
Milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
Of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow
Has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed
Company, using letters
of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a
Debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
Intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly
Owned by the majority shareholder who
Sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
Company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
With an option on
One more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States, leaving
You with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the
Roads, because you
Want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
Ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called
‘Cowkimon’ and you market it worldwide

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You heft two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
Once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
Vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high
Bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real
Situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you
And invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part
Of Democracy….

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to
Celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive

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2 Responses to “Economic Models Explained with cows”

  1. towp Says:

    Ike you’re absolutly killin me today (keep it up)

  2. Ike Jakson Says:

    Towp, what a pleasant surprise? Thanks man. As I said I had found this somewhere but it was too good to keep for myself. Hey, and pass this on to Rod. Some of these cows are a dead image fit for Obamanomics.

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