An American Halloween Story

This is great fun because I picked it up, courtesy of an American Blogger, in a Blog in the UK Telegraph Blogsite and quote verbatim with [I am sure] his permission, seeing he is from Elkins AR where all the nice people live.


A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween Party.  He doesn’t know what costume to wear to hide his head and his Leg.  So he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.

A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate’s outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his Wooden Leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he Receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk’s costume.. The long robe will cover your Wooden leg and, with your bald head, you should really look the part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his Wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so again he writes the Company another nasty letter of complaint…

The next day he gets a small Parcel and a note, which reads:

Dear Sir,
We have TRIED our very BEST Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.  Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your Wooden Leg up your arse and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Courtesy of, and credit to the man from Arkansas in:

Poor guys on the Island across the pond don’t know about Halloween because there was only one comment, FROM ME, YOURS TRULY.

Have a happy Halloween gals and guys, make it last into the weekend.

Bless America!

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