Archive for April, 2011

The American economy is now so bad……

April 21, 2011

Compliments to Frikkie, one of my best email friends:

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

 Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.

 CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

 BP Shell lay off 25 Congressmen.

 A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with bags of pennies while she danced.

 I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

 If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is selling a 1/4 ouncer.

 Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And…. finally;  I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.