The American economy is now so bad……

Compliments to Frikkie, one of my best email friends:

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

 Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.

 CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

 BP Shell lay off 25 Congressmen.

 A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with bags of pennies while she danced.

 I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

 If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is selling a 1/4 ouncer.

 Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And…. finally;  I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

18 Responses to “The American economy is now so bad……”

  1. boudicabpi Says:

    Hi Ike,
    Thanks for a little humor, too bad that is where we are heading.
    Bob A.

    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Hi boudicabhi

      Thanks for your comment; it was so good hearing from you again. I hope you are well and fighting the good fight.

  2. Levent Says:

    Good to see you on the field again, Ike. 🙂
    I hope you are feeling better.

    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Hi Levent

      I am much improved but still under heavy medication; my doctor tells me to give it six months towards full recovery but I am getting out of the ditch.

      See my other reply to your previous comment on my Post about the Libyan war. I was late about that because it came in when I was right down on the ground in the ditch. Read the rest in my reply to your comment in there.

      Go well, brother.

  3. elcampeador Says:

    Loved it, Ike.

    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Thanks JP

      My Elcampeador, one from you is always the best. I am recovering and will soon come around your place for a good one to celebrate.

  4. bydesign001 Says:

    Good evening, maybe good morning Ike,

    Thank you my friend for the humor. It is badly needed since there is not much that is funny these days. Glad to see you up and about. Can’t keep a good man down friend.


    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Hi lady BD

      Thanks for picking me up so soon. I have been in deep waters but I am on my way wading through the shallows hoping to be on dry land soon.

      Still love you lots.

  5. nolanimrod Says:

    You’ll know things are reaching a new equilibrium when the parents buy exer-cycles for the kiddies and hook them to generators to replace the batteries the wives can’t afford.

    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Thanks Nolanimrod
      You have a good one here. I am recovering and hope to be around more often soon. It was good of you to pick my first silly little bit up so soon. I appreciate.

  6. Cheech Says:

    Oklay Ike, I’ve been away too long. What happened to you?

    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Hi Cheech
      Thanks for dropping by. Would you mind if I keep it short because I am under severe mediation after the most traumatic experience in my life? It is a family matter that got out of hand; linked to that stuff I published about the Newspaper.
      We won a big round this week but at a cost to my health. I am recovering but the doctor says it will take months to work through all of it. But we are all intact and, the Good Lord willing will all benefit from the experience in the end. The wounds are too raw right now to think any further ahead.

      I shall be in touch and appreciate your concern.

  7. Metin YILMAZ Says:

    Hello Ike, I’m sorry to hear about your health problems, wis you speedy recovery..My heart is with you..All the Best,Metin

    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Hi Metin
      Thanks you so much. I do think about you a lot. Fortunately I know what happened to me though I did not expect it but we are dealing with it and my body is responding positively; we are but frail humans and I have had a good and rewarding life to help me trough.

      Best wishes to you and your lovely family.

  8. Metin YILMAZ Says:

    My best wishes to you and your family too,i’m often thinking of you but i don’t visit the blogs much so i can’t keep in touch enough..All the Best!

    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Same my side Metin; we have to get onm with our lives each one the best he can. I am a bit tired of War by the politicians while the people suffer.

  9. Bob Mack Says:

    Howdy, Ike. Just checkin’ in to see how things are going. Hope you are well.

    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Hi Bob

      Thanks for checking in; please know that I appreciate and shall remember you for that.

      I am hanging in here but have to pull myself up by the shoestrings every day. Perhaps it is a bit of everything and perhaps I should not have allowed some things to affect me as much but I did. World news is not encouraging either and my family is spread all over.

      I am just tired maybe. BUT I ain’t given up yet.

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