Archive for February, 2012

Origins of an Old Fart

February 25, 2012

That’s what somebody called me the other day; a strange business indeed calling me an old fart. Heck, I thought to myself that is a serious accusation that needs to be addressed at once before the notion develops into a problem of momentous implications for me and the family.

Because I am well equipped with a good brain and a strongly inquisitive mind I set out to determine the origins of this development.

It turned out that there may be a lot of truth in what the man said and to my great relief I am not the only one I found. In fact it so turned out that it can now be said with a fair degree of certainty that I am indeed what he called me and that the affliction is a hereditary one.

That really annoyed me be because that implied that my father …

Now I was really mad at the young upstart and got all the books out, all the Google facts but when I was about to examine the situation my mind went back to the days when I was a young fart in our early twenties. I found that without knowing it because we were so brilliant at the time all of us were born from Old Farts except me. My father was a decent man.

So I went into this and concentrated on the family lives of all the other young farts. It turned out into an Odyssey of Time going back to when the earth was flat long before the first moon of Time.

I shall tell you more of my discoveries as we go along; suffices for now to state that I don’t feel offended any longer. In days gone by we all have the same origins, with the exception being the status of my father, …. or as I indeed hope, maybe the father[s] of good friends.

To be continued. It is a bit like trying to fit a round object like the Earth into a square box without leaving a vacuum or empty space in the corners; it is a great and difficult task as you will agree but I am getting there.

While you wait for my return let your mind join me in the analysis of these scientific findings; we can pool our knowledge and hopefully find the core of the truth.

Until we meet again….

Judge Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the South African Constitution of her Dreams – Update

February 13, 2012

To follow when I get my computer to work.

Well, the computer is working but I am finding it difficult to suppress the need to vomit when I think of the Honorable Judge and her SA Constitution.

In the meantime have a look at this if you want to see power.

He is telling the country who is the boss.

Judge Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the South African Constitution of her Dreams

February 13, 2012

My Blogging friend the Great Elcampeador sent me the link to this Blog to ask for my comments or to do a Post on it.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Makes Banal Point, Destroys the Republic

By David Weigel

 Posted Friday, Feb. 3, 2012, at 9:58 AM ET

 U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ginsburg suggests looking at the South African Constitution, if were one to be written, today..

 At first glance and because I am under a lot of pressure I considered and promised that I would email him my views but his idea of a special Post offered an opportunity and I started working on it.

 This is the result, JP old Friend; it is also the true history of the most memorable [and the only one of the type that the Judge so highly admires] of Constitutions in Africa.

 So this is what the learned and Most Honorable Judge Ruth wants for the entire World including America.

 It is indeed a fine document but the Judge does not seem to know a thing about who wrote it or why it was; that I certainly know because I was present on the scene and bought my own copy as soon as the printed compact version appeared on our bookshelves; it is right at my elbow while I am on the keyboard.

 First the Judge has to know that the World had decided by the middle eighties when President Reagan was in the White House that old South Africa had to go but the West had also decided that they wanted the bonanza of minerals in our soil and at all costs keep the Ruskies and China from getting to it.

 So, and just in case a Democrat would win in 1992 [as actually transpired to happen] America decided to hurry things along a bit and offered the South Africans all the assistance required for the task at hand.

 The Honorable Judge must also learn that good ole grease money is in high demand out here. They therefore, cut all the deals and the task was completed in record time. Those who needed and asked for their share of the grease money got it; Mandela had to share a Nobel Peace Prize with his old adversary but accepted with a smile when he learned how that would benefit him with the grease. He is well-known “by all in the know” as one of the richest people in the World today and many of the Constitution negotiators retired in great wealth. Sorry Bill, but ole Nelson slipped through the Gates before you but please go on sending the ole fraud some more if you wish – he loves your dough.

 The World came to the Party of all Parties in great numbers in 1994.  For that to happen luxury extensions had to be done at airports; one after the other great models of a new kind of luxury hotel after the other rose from the ashes of the country left behind by the old regime; fleets of shiny new vehicles arrived to carry the visitors that were invited; construction boomed on new sport stadiums for the World Cup in Rugby and Soccer and they built another few extensions to airports.

 Dear Judge, if you visit you will, I assure you, find the above to your taste.

 However, most Honorable Judge, I must tell you that the new regime replacing the old have become even more astute in politics than the old one and that they opened the “wage gap” and stretched it a hundred fold.  So please, when you are invited do as they tell you to do and go where they take you.  You will be in the lap of luxury and you will be safe; they are good hosts and you will have the time of your life visiting the Island and some of the finest resorts in the entire World.  Oprah will testify to the truth of what I have just said; you just have to give her a call AND I SUGGEST THAT YOU DO THAT TO VERIFY MY CREDENTIALS.  She became a regular visitor to our shores.

 Don’t please, ask to visit the outlying country side or the slums just ten miles or less out of Cape Town; things are not so good with 40 % unemployment and shanty towns are not safe places to go.  Why would you in any event want to risk having your head separated from your shoulders in a shanty town where if they have it they live on a dollar a day while you can stay in comfort in a luxury suite in any one of six World Class Luxury Hotels on the Cape Town Waterfront at 2000 USA greenbacks a day?  That is only one place that I mention but we have many more already that just sprung up and more being planned or halfway in construction and you will be treated like royalty in the same style as little Oprah.

 Oh yes, onto the Constitution.  It is indeed a remarkable document.

 It guarantees everything you want; the right to live, to be happy, to marry anyone you choose; free speech [as long as you don’t ask for prison and crime statistics], free sex [they even legalized prostitution for the duration of the Soccer World Cup] and the right to choose your partner; gender has been scrapped from our new Constitution and replaced by orientation, whatever you choose that to be and you may choose to marry your neighbor’s white or black dog no matter what your orientation or that of the dog; and, how nice of them, the Court may not refuse to conduct the marriage ceremony.

 Freedom abounds resulting in:

 A thirty per cent unemployment rate

The highest rape count in the World

One of the highest road accident death rates in the World

A murder rate higher than the road death roll [they have just announced that to express their astonishment about the road death toll].

An Aids Infection rate you have never heard off because we teach sex education to junior school kids eight years old; they know all about it and participate in great delight.

There is a small negative here but not too much to cause you to be concerned.  In some or other way it came to be the accepted norm that sex with a small baby [boy or girl, either under twelve months old] is a sure cure for Aids and we had a lot of that for a while, often in gang-rape style before the little victim is strangled but you mustn’t worry too much about that; the rapist and the killer are guaranteed their freedom and the right to life.

 Shall I tell you more, Judge Ruth?  I live in a small town with 300 souls.  Do you want me to tell you what a worker earns from dawn to dusk six days a week in rain or sunshine and what the Municipal Manager draws for an eight hour day five days a week in his air-conditioned 100 square meter office.  My figures will be somewhat distorted if you read them because we have an estimated 40 to 45 per cent unemployment rate on top of it.

 If you don’t believe me, come and visit but don’t bother to ask these poor souls about the Constitution because they have never seen it; that is possibly so because very few will be able to read it.  That in turn is so because we have an estimated illiteracy rate of 50 or 60 per cent.  On second thoughts, do visit and talk to them; it may cure you of the affliction that you suffer from and you sure don’t want that, do you now?

 In his email to me my friend the Great Elcampeador expressed the possibility that the Post he referred to was perhaps written by a Leftie for the Lefties.  No, great Elcampeador, you are too kind and too generous.

 The Honorable Judge has gone bonkers.

Not like son like father

February 5, 2012

You can play or fool around with the old cliché like father like son as much as you want to; go ahead and try it by looking around.

 Where I am sitting around way down in the Deepest South now they say it is 40 degrees right now at 2:34 PM on this day of today and getting worse towards 17:00 with a little improvement tomorrow; a recovery and some rain is forecasted for Tuesday.

 It’s a baddy.

 I am digressing and will tell you about the Post of my friend JM; it’s a must read.

 Jamie replied in the most beautiful tones on my comment; it would normally have resulted in more comments but then I decided not to clutter his Post up because when I started to compose a reply I remembered the story my other friend old Rip van Winkel told me the other day.  That in turn reminded me of thinking about a certain woman but I decided it was to personal to clutter Jamie’s Post with my story and will tell you Rip’s comment on a similar set of circumstances; first though  I need to tell you what I wanted to ask Jamie, namely that why is it that today’s young people [say, under forty] think an ageing fellow of 72 is old, almost as if they can’t seem to figure that anybody aged 72 must have been 40 at some stage in order to get to 70 …. You got that figured?

 So this is Rip:

 “Another friend about your age, surrounded by two widowed sisters and two widowed sister-in-law, when asked the same question [see above] said to his son soon to reach adulthood [at age 40] if he can leave the ways of adolescence behind.”

 Here I almost digressed again but resisted.  Said ole Rip about his other friend and what he said to his son:

“Well son, he said, I can’t figure what’s eating at your innards but I will tell you this.  Go get a life and the day you have a son of forty come tell me how you two got along through the years …. And may I suggest that you hurry along ‘ecause you will be over eighty before that happens?  Now git and let me attend to my life while you do the same with yours.”

Isn’t it strange?  I realized one day when I was about 25 that I loved my Father but though we had two beautiful years getting to know each other better he died when I was 27; today after 44 years I still miss him and think he was the most wonderful man I ever met.

Life has changed.  We have made progress in many things but I am beginning to doubt whether all progress is good; it half seems as if most of progress today is in the wrong direction.

Maybe I am digressing again and I apologize if you think that I have done so.