A Free State Boerseun Story

The Free State is one of our Provinces but it has the stature of a Colony to those who live there. Boerseun is Afrikaans [Dutch] for Farm Boy or a Son of the Farm [or land]. A Boerseun is tough; boy is he tough, because the land is hard and tough. They have a breed called Boerseun in America too but a Free State Boerseun wouldn’t be seen dead in San Francisco.

Our Boerseun gets on the plane to fly to Sodom. They fly into a heck of a storm and lightning hits the one wing. The plane is in trouble.

A beautiful young lady runs up the isle and turns around at the end [and is she beautiful to behold?], screaming down the isle that everybody could hear her:

“I am too young to die! Is there anyone who can make me feel like a woman for one last time if I have to go this way?”

Boerseun gets up; he is tall and lean but broad in the shoulders as he walks down the isle, and he unbuttons his shirt when he gets to her. He takes the shirt off and everyone gapes at the magnificent torso when he hands the shirt to the lady and whispers to her:

“Iron my shirt, and bring me a cold beer, quick.”

Do you still have the real Boerseun where you live? What do you call them? SF USA, no comments from you please.

14 Responses to “A Free State Boerseun Story”

  1. Ike Jakson Says:

    Computer was on the Blink and would not take the body text at first; managed to fix it. Sorry if you had just the headline when you read it the first time!!!!

  2. christophertrier Says:

    Och aye, Ike! You’re a terrible man, this joke nearly made me ruin my computer. I had just sipped some coffee when I read the punchline and it nearly came out my nose. Even in the People’s Republic of California there are still some Boerseun. Go east, far to the east — where the valley starts rising to the sky. In less poetic terms, where the Central Valley and the Sierras meet. A lot of farms, a lot of agriculture. It may not be as rough as the South African provinces, but those working on the farms still work day in and day out. (Other than me, of course, I admit that I’m definitely on the soft side, having worked primarily in academia over the past few years)

    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Ouch Aye Christopher

      You will have noted from my closing line that I expected some differences of opinion from the place I had decided to call SF; certainly not the entire California. I am of the opinion that you will still find some good Rednecks [supposing that is how Americans will translate Boerseun] all over including most of or many parts of the State; as said I have my doubts about SF but that surely excludes you.

      Thanks for dropping in. Keep well.

  3. Nolanimrod Says:

    Boerseun. Great word. By just saying it aloud I figured it was son of the land before you told me. But then Deutsch and English were originally the same thing, weren’t they?

    One of my favorite kinds of jokes, where the punchline is about three levels of escalation beyond what is originally thought to be coming. Kind of like guys in a pub after a few rounds improving on a punchline. The joke skips all the middle steps.

    Glad to see you back.

    Now… back to work. We need more. MORE I tells ya.

    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Thanks Nolanimrod

      I remembered when Ross Perot described himself as “just an ole Farmboh” a good few years back and everyone laughed.

      Do you know White Lightning [moonshine or home brewed alcohol refreshers]? We call it Witblits, which is really a direct translation of White [Wit] Lightning [that being the Blits coming down to strike the tree right above your head. We also say “as fast as a blits, or blitsvinnig for Lightning fast; sometimes Dutch somehow has more in common with American life than with the British on the other side of the pond.

      Stay well.

  4. christophertrier Says:

    Ike, could you be so kind as to translate something for me?
    My poor mum has to work with a rather difficult young Afrikaner with a very, very high opinion of himself. Could you translate “oh, get off yourself already” into Afrikaans? Thank you.

    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Hi Christopher

      I would love to do that for your mum as soon as I know what it means in English. I have never heard it around here and don’t know, for instance, whether it is a command or just an admonishment. I am afraid it is not an expression I have ever heard here and don’t want to give her the wrong advice.

      If it means being too big for his shoes or just being arrogant …. It gets difficult. We have some good insults but I have to understand the English intention. Send me an example and I will get her on the right track.

      Keep well and thanks for dropping in.

  5. christophertrier Says:

    Here is how he is… He is the head chemist at hospital where my mum works, my mother is one of the higher people in the surgical department. They were discussing how long a certain medicine would last before expiring. He said “180 days”. My mother, to confirm the information, said “okay, half a year”. And he responded with a sneer “well, what do you think 180 days is, then”?

    “Oh, get off yourself” is a more British expression. It means “stop being so arrogant, you’re not that special”.

    • Ike Jakson Says:

      Christopher

      Now I got it perfectly. He is a Mister know all know nothing and just like annoying people in authority above him.

      In this case what I would do is tell him one or the other of:

      “Kyk seun, dis iets wat jy verstaan nie. Gaan koop vir jou ‘n nicker ball en laat die grootmense aangaan met hulle werk.” [Look young sod, you obviously don’t understand; take a nickel and go buy yourself a piece of candy while the adults do the job,

      Or:

      “Jou klein snotneus, dis vir grootmense. Gaan uit buite toe en speel met die hoenders.” [look young snotnose, this is an adult world; go outside and play with the chickens.”

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