Archive for January, 2014

Mandela and I, Part 2 by Chieftain Mangosuthu Buthelezi

January 26, 2014

You have read Part 1:

 Now I proudly present to you the version of a truly Great South African; in the eyes of many [certainly mine] the Man that should have been the first Black President of South Africa.

 In his own words, verbatim unedited the way he said it:

 Read more about this man:

 I was born in rural South Africa about 100 miles north of Cape Town in 1940 in a home that was apolitical.  My political awareness developed during my twenties and at the age of 31 I walked out into the political wilderness away from my people and The Church [that is a long story] to devote the rest of my adult life working and hoping to have a majority Government in our country.  In 1972 most white people sneered at me and asked me “Now who in hell do you think will run that country?”  It was not a popular thing for a white man to say such things at that time but I always replied to the question:

 “Buthelezi is my choice.”

 My compatriots thought I was a nut case.

 The jury is still out on Mandela and it will be a very long time to get a verdict.  I guess that we may have the latter by the year 2074; not sooner.  There will be updates on the story as we go along.

Open Letter to Floris of Nebo Nogo Voda Non-Com at Vodashop Weskus Mall

January 23, 2014

Good Morning Floris

 Man, I have walked the Long Walk; yes Sir, it has been long and arduous and I learned every day but I need your help on this one.


And I have called 082155 that Voda tells me to call; really Floris, I have called them maybe two dozen times.  I am now going to compile a list of the names of all the people I have spoken to on 082155 and will email it to you for your benefit.

They have all made promises; they all now know about tiny little Redelinghuys out here in the Sandhills.

How is it possible that the official Voda Spokesperson doesn’t know about anything from Redelinghuys?  He says so himself [maybe herself, hey?] right there in the latest Fin24 Article.

Shucks Floris, the people at Patat are laughing their heads off about Voda Non-Com and the folks working at Vodashop, Weskus Mall Branch in Vredenburg Western Cape.

Patat tested both my computers and can’t stop laughing; pretty soon everybody here will have Patat Data Transmission.

I shall tell you what you must suggest to your Managing Director, you know the big Makulu Nkosi in his Ivory Tower Office.

Tell him to come out here with two Laptop Computers with compatible modems.  Make sure one computer is the latest hi-tech that is available and the other one, say, a Windows 2007 to 2007 model.  For the latter the VCM Lite 3.2.1 is the modem to have.  Folks at Patat tell me that there must be millions of these “older modems” around still.  I scratched around and found my original brochures; it’s not even four years ago and carries a ten year warranty.  You should be able to pick a box full of the stuff up in the corner store near you.  Heck, Floris they make these things [a Vodafone product manufactured by Huawei for maybe two bucks in China].  The one that young Herman destroyed needs to be replaced anyway.

Then let him come out here pronto.  Whisper in his ear [yes, you come out with him] to test both computers for Data Transmission from your Church Tower transmitter and from the Patat Network.

Have a good day, Floris.

PS: You have some snoek out near your place?  It’s sometimes real difficult getting it out here.

A new Word called pinc

January 14, 2014

Actually you can spell it any way you want to:

 P[in]C, pinc, Pinc, PInc [like in Pea Incorporated], You choose.

 Try to figure it out.  First correct answer can have my Vodacom Contract with a brand new modem.  The latter works at the speed of light in the city but like a lame snail where I live and Vodacom is too proud to admit that the Brain Dead Syndrome has affected their ranks.

 Come on now; it is quite easy.  Ok then, I shall give you a clue.  What do you see if you spell it PInc?

 Nebo No-Go Voda Non-Com.  Don’t worry about this par; it’s a common joke in South Africa.  It is not even remotely related to the topic.

Answer is [……………….].  The number of dots is another clue.  Now Go Go Voda; just go away, will yeah?  PInc.


Hi-Tech Vodacom SA goes into nosedive following a severe outbreak of BDS

January 14, 2014

BDS [Brain Dead Syndrome] must not be confused with the medical and legal term that Governments and politicians grapple with in having to decide when a seriously ill person on life support systems actually ceases to live.  The clergy of many religions are grappling with the same problem; does life end when the heart stops or when the brain finally dies.  It is an ongoing discussion and of course, a sensitive issue.

 Dead Brain Syndrome [DBS for short as is common practice today] refers to the collapse of normal human brain functions in an otherwise healthy body.  Add a massive ego to occupy the cavity where the human brain normally functions and put the incompetent soul in a high-tech position that should really be a human brain function job; juggle the mix with demands from management for more sales, come on guys, move those modems, hurry now, come on move those contracts, get the reluctant customer to sign that contract now, yes take his money and get him out of the sales office; move ‘hem faster, on the double, well, there you have Vodacom SA.

 Aided by an ailing Telkom SA that holds the monopoly in fixed landline operations but now also trying to worm its way into the lucrative wireless market and falling over its own feet in the process Vodacom thrived at starters.  Spurred on by a gullible public, sub-standard transmitters were installed in church towers thus saving on the huge expenditure required for proper transmission towers.

 When the overload cracked, Management reaction was to tell the customer “Sir, you modem is outdated, take this new one, just sign here for the contract” or “Madam, you need a new computer, sure madam, you need a new computer at least every three years and a new modem with it, sure Madam, yes for your children Mam, just sign here.”

 In the meantime the old infrastructure remained in the Church Tower in Redelinghuys and when Data Modems were added it just conked.

 But at Vodacom the staff setup had changed.  Young people who have never had to write a business letter and still probably can’t do it, who is trained only in how to get signatures on contracts, take the customers’ money and go on to the next idiot just dying to have his own too, well they have never been to Redelinghuys and don’t even know about the transmitter in the Church Tower.

 It crashed as it would have done sooner or later.

 My friend who likes life and all the satire it brings with it wrote an email when his system collapsed.  He was wise before he wrote the email; the locals all got together with their computers, modems and some good old fashioned common sense and pretty quickly realized that we need our own tower on the hilltop just outside town.  When the tower started to operate we carried equipment around and tested our stuff.

 Then my friend satirized Vodacom; well, he actually called them Brain Dead and circulated it on the Internet.

 This is the email response just received from Vodacom:

 “Dear Sir,

We have noted the contents of your e-mail below and have taken advice. We will therefore not be responding to your e-mail.

Yours Faithfully


 To which he has now replied:

 Good morning Floris

 I must say that to say that you won’t respond and then in the same email do respond and making sure that I see the name of your attorney in the CC list I merely refer you to the contractual obligations in your own contract.

 You are in breach of them, good Sir.  Comply with them; that is surely not too much for a customer to ask, or is your own ego now so big that it fills the entire cavity between your ears leaving no space for the human brain given to you at birth?

 My advice to you is to do your job, that’s all I am asking you to do.”

 The saga will probably need and update.  Watch this space.  If you don’t see anything I should add that a helpful soul that my friend did find and who fixed his OE Email after the Brain Dead at Vodashop, Weskus Mall, VREDENBURG, Western Cape had demolished it whilst installing a new modem that works at slow snail speed from the transmitter in the Church Tower, gently informed my friend that he is fixing it on his old Password and quoted it for him to verify it.  That surprised my friend and he asked the helpful soul how he knew the Password.  “I have it right here on the list in front of me, Sir” was the answer.

 And they and all the Banks tell us that nobody knows your Password?

Hi Nimrod, I am doing my best

January 9, 2014

I so want to get this little Post Published.

 Let me explain something to you as an American; one day when Politicians of Carter and his ilk in your Land have taken the blinkers off they may understand the relevance of Africa.

 If your son invites you over to their house telling you that they have a surprise for you and upon your arrival his wife comes out with a tiny parcel like in your pics, you will probably exclaim to the entire World:

 Aha, it is a baby.

 Now you translate that into Dutch and you will get

 A, dis ‘n baba.

 The ‘dis’ means ‘it is’ and the ‘n for a like in a baby.  Now you put it all together and you will have:

 A dis a baba, as in Ah, it is a baby above.  In fact, quite exact.

 The current South Africa had her fate decided between Carter, Zurich [Swiss] and Adis Ababa.

 It will be in my book.