Posts Tagged ‘Hi-Tech’

Farting against Thunder

May 12, 2015

Yes OK, I know it’s like that; it’s also true that you can’t teach an old hound any new tricks; sure I agree with that too.

But what you young kids don’t know is that an old hound that has sniffed around in many places can recognize odors and knows about old beans or cabbage stew farts.

Take modern finance for example.

It is all done on the computer. Dealers deal and Traders trade from platforms; you can visualize a platform as one of these rickety things hanging on the side of the Wall Street Stock Exchange building with guys in overalls cleaning the windows on the outside.

In the old days the window cleaners would have been able to peek through the windows and see the traders running around scribbling on little cards and holding them up; they would nod at some and others would nod back and both would scribble on their cards. At the end of the day reams of print would be running all the trade records of the day for all to see, including all the shady deals. Insider trading was rife; according to Greg Blank everybody was doing it but he was the only one to go to prison. See him crying a river in:

But nowadays the platform is not a ramshackle affair hanging on the outside of the Stock Exchange building. It’s all hi-tech computers; whiz kids of 25 years old sit in front of their computers in Claremont outside Cape Town South Africa and “trade remote” with any Stock Exchange from Toronto Canada to Timbuktu.

It’s impossible, they say, to commit fraud because the computer is in control. It’s just impossible, the mod high-techie will tell you, for anyone to defraud all those computers. Don’t worry, you investor idiots, they say, your money is safe.

Not so, says the old hound, not so at all, he says, as he sniffles around slobbering on his old beans and cabbage stew building up a good fart while the thunder is rolling in over the hills.

Says the old hound: “Iffin you can let go with a good fart right in the inside of the old workers lavvy outside the Stock Exchange just before the thunder strikes to blow the lavvy sky high when it hits the bean and cabbage stew fart. It’s not nearly like the shit hitting the fan; no it’s much worse”.

How you ask? Where is the evidence? Yeah, says the hi-techie in his expensive business suit getting into his Ferrari with his remote computer and a smirking false smile on his lying face. You have no evidence, he smirks.

The old hound looks like dosing off but is sniffing the air. That fart spread real well with the thunder, he says while sniffing the breeze.

To be continued.


Open Letter to Floris of Nebo Nogo Voda Non-Com at Vodashop Weskus Mall

January 23, 2014

Good Morning Floris

 Man, I have walked the Long Walk; yes Sir, it has been long and arduous and I learned every day but I need your help on this one.


And I have called 082155 that Voda tells me to call; really Floris, I have called them maybe two dozen times.  I am now going to compile a list of the names of all the people I have spoken to on 082155 and will email it to you for your benefit.

They have all made promises; they all now know about tiny little Redelinghuys out here in the Sandhills.

How is it possible that the official Voda Spokesperson doesn’t know about anything from Redelinghuys?  He says so himself [maybe herself, hey?] right there in the latest Fin24 Article.

Shucks Floris, the people at Patat are laughing their heads off about Voda Non-Com and the folks working at Vodashop, Weskus Mall Branch in Vredenburg Western Cape.

Patat tested both my computers and can’t stop laughing; pretty soon everybody here will have Patat Data Transmission.

I shall tell you what you must suggest to your Managing Director, you know the big Makulu Nkosi in his Ivory Tower Office.

Tell him to come out here with two Laptop Computers with compatible modems.  Make sure one computer is the latest hi-tech that is available and the other one, say, a Windows 2007 to 2007 model.  For the latter the VCM Lite 3.2.1 is the modem to have.  Folks at Patat tell me that there must be millions of these “older modems” around still.  I scratched around and found my original brochures; it’s not even four years ago and carries a ten year warranty.  You should be able to pick a box full of the stuff up in the corner store near you.  Heck, Floris they make these things [a Vodafone product manufactured by Huawei for maybe two bucks in China].  The one that young Herman destroyed needs to be replaced anyway.

Then let him come out here pronto.  Whisper in his ear [yes, you come out with him] to test both computers for Data Transmission from your Church Tower transmitter and from the Patat Network.

Have a good day, Floris.

PS: You have some snoek out near your place?  It’s sometimes real difficult getting it out here.