Posts Tagged ‘Vodacom’

Farewell to Life

August 2, 2015

Saturday, August 01, 2015

 

Don’t worry my friends and some of the family. I will be OK but at some stage soon before many more 1st of August’s life will cease.

 

In fact, you can hardly call it life the way we used to define it. I shall survive because I am taking precautions to keep my brain alive; the farming community around my area of abode will plant and harvest; ants, flies, little worms and cockroaches will roam and do what they do to maintain the soil and keep it clean. The brain dead will ambulate for a while and drop away; more work for the ants, flies, worms and roaches to convert to material for the soil.

 

I have seen this coming since 1990. The end of Life is nigh; hi-tech will hasten it and I expect the finale any day or week; maybe it will take a few months but surely then it will be done.

 

It’s a freezing 3 F degrees out here this morning at 04:17 AM; an unusual cold climate change that came much too soon after the global cooling of last year. I suspect that to be a large part of the cause of the massive brain death rate syndrome that is spreading like a tsunami over the land.

 

Our electric power is still on when it happens to be on; good men in the coal mines and oil industry are keeping it up [no place for women or pansies in that task; it needs men with brawn and brains]; our fixed landline phones are still on most of the time [again it’s men with strong arms and legs climbing up these strong four or five meters high posts to connect the copper wire. We have some problems with the major [well, we only have one] landline supplier that also wants part of the wireless cellular cake but fortunately for us keep on screwing it up so it is not getting anywhere.

 

The high-tech wireless industry is on the verge of collapse. Let by a group we call Nebo Voda Non-Com.

 

Just look at this and tell me whether I am completely nuts. My account is paid to date. They confirm it. I have just got my new data allocation for the month, a little over 4 hours ago; they confirm that. Why do I get this?

 

http://static.vodacom.co.za/personal/main/weboutoffunds

 

I checked it again at 2015/08/01 05:10 AM. There you see it; the computer tells me so. But there is an entire Web page saying the opposite:

 

You have run out of data and airtime

To continue browsing the Internet, simply recharge with airtime. Save on data charges, and click here to buy a data bundle www.vodacom.mobi.

You can also transfer a data bundle from any other Vodacom cellphone directly to your data SIM card, no hassle.
STEP 1: Dial *111#, FREE from your Vodacom cellphone.
STEP 2: Select Bundle Transfer and choose the bundle you want to send to your data SIM card.
STEP 3: Start browsing again!

Got a cellphone or a tablet?

You can load your airtime by removing your data SIM card from your device and inserting it into a cellphone. Then recharge like you would with any cellphone.

Once you have airtime, you can purchase a data bundle in one of the following ways:

On your Vodacom cellphone:
Dial *111# and select “bundle purchases”.
Or
Send an SMS to 100 (FREE) with the bundle size you need
E.g.: “MyMeg 500” to 100

On the web:
Visit vodacom.co.za, sign in to your My Vodacom account and click on ‘Buy bundles’
Or
Visit the Vodacom Online Shop at vodacom.co.za/shop and buy data with your bank card.

Got a Vodacom 3G modem or router?

Use our Vodafone Mobile Broadband (VMB) Connection Manager to convert airtime into data:

Go to ‘Buy once-off data bundle’ on the ‘My Account’ drop-down list to select a data bundle

Or

Send a FREE SMS from your VMB Connection Manager with the data bundle size you want to 100.

For example: If you want to buy a MyMeg 250 data bundle, SMSMyMeg 250 or for a 1GB, SMSMyGig 1 to 100

For assistance, please call Vodacom Customer Care on 082 111, FREE from your Vodacom cellphone.

 

Farewell to Life my friends. It looks sure that by end of day the entire work force in high-tech will be down with BDS [dead brains].

 

As I said I have seen it coming since 1990. The invisible machine has taken over; the machine is running man. We may as well close schools and cease education; shucks that’s probably where the new generations fall victim to the BDS.

 

Farewell to Life as we once knew it, my Friends. I am going to plant some cabbages, some tomatoes and early spring peas today.

 

Progress Report 8/1/2015 6:37:37 AM, time as by my computer:

 

I tried their emergency number again and found one that can talk and decided on a different approach. First I insulted his Company then asked him how long he has been with them. “Three years,” he said. Then I asked him whether he knows that the entire Company is fucked up. You won’t believe it he laughed and said, “Yes Sir.” So what could I do? I thanked him for his honesty and he then admitted that there is a big problem right now; could not even guess when it will be solved but honest enough to tell me so. We parted in good spirits; at least one of them has a live brain.

 

Update: 8/2/2015 3:26 AM. It was still off at just after one AM and I checked when I woke up a few miutes ago. It was on.

 

PS: The blank spaces in the No-Com Voda Nebo-Com are from their site. I dunno how to remove blanks spaces.

 

Ike Jakson

In Americus GA saka Americoon

ikejakson@gmail.com

 

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Open Letter to Floris of Nebo Nogo Voda Non-Com at Vodashop Weskus Mall

January 23, 2014

Good Morning Floris

 Man, I have walked the Long Walk; yes Sir, it has been long and arduous and I learned every day but I need your help on this one.

See:

http://www.fin24.com/MyFin24/Frustration-due-to-no-cell-phone-reception-20140121

https://ikejakson.wordpress.com/2014/01/14/hi-tech-vodacom-sa-goes-into-nosedive-following-a-severe-outbreak-of-bds/

http://www.fin24.com/Companies/ICT/Telkom-in-talks-over-future-of-mobile-unit-20131119

And I have called 082155 that Voda tells me to call; really Floris, I have called them maybe two dozen times.  I am now going to compile a list of the names of all the people I have spoken to on 082155 and will email it to you for your benefit.

They have all made promises; they all now know about tiny little Redelinghuys out here in the Sandhills.

How is it possible that the official Voda Spokesperson doesn’t know about anything from Redelinghuys?  He says so himself [maybe herself, hey?] right there in the latest Fin24 Article.

Shucks Floris, the people at Patat are laughing their heads off about Voda Non-Com and the folks working at Vodashop, Weskus Mall Branch in Vredenburg Western Cape.

Patat tested both my computers and can’t stop laughing; pretty soon everybody here will have Patat Data Transmission.

I shall tell you what you must suggest to your Managing Director, you know the big Makulu Nkosi in his Ivory Tower Office.

Tell him to come out here with two Laptop Computers with compatible modems.  Make sure one computer is the latest hi-tech that is available and the other one, say, a Windows 2007 to 2007 model.  For the latter the VCM Lite 3.2.1 is the modem to have.  Folks at Patat tell me that there must be millions of these “older modems” around still.  I scratched around and found my original brochures; it’s not even four years ago and carries a ten year warranty.  You should be able to pick a box full of the stuff up in the corner store near you.  Heck, Floris they make these things [a Vodafone product manufactured by Huawei for maybe two bucks in China].  The one that young Herman destroyed needs to be replaced anyway.

Then let him come out here pronto.  Whisper in his ear [yes, you come out with him] to test both computers for Data Transmission from your Church Tower transmitter and from the Patat Network.

Have a good day, Floris.

PS: You have some snoek out near your place?  It’s sometimes real difficult getting it out here.

A new Word called pinc

January 14, 2014

Actually you can spell it any way you want to:

 P[in]C, pinc, Pinc, PInc [like in Pea Incorporated], You choose.

 Try to figure it out.  First correct answer can have my Vodacom Contract with a brand new modem.  The latter works at the speed of light in the city but like a lame snail where I live and Vodacom is too proud to admit that the Brain Dead Syndrome has affected their ranks.

 Come on now; it is quite easy.  Ok then, I shall give you a clue.  What do you see if you spell it PInc?

 Nebo No-Go Voda Non-Com.  Don’t worry about this par; it’s a common joke in South Africa.  It is not even remotely related to the topic.

Answer is [……………….].  The number of dots is another clue.  Now Go Go Voda; just go away, will yeah?  PInc.

 IkeJ